womanarehuman on Xanga

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people".

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Sunday, 16 August 2009

How to be Female

I am not a writer, this is choppy as all hell, but yesterday I met a guy would told me me that I should be more feminine and lady like, and I decided to share with you how it is that we as females, should act:

Welcome to the world you double X chromosome being. Now let me fill you in on how you’re supposed to act. It’s not that easy- trust me, 18 years has given me more perspective then I ever wanted to know. Don’t worry though – just a few simple things and you’ll be off!

I’m sorry if you are queer, it’s not entirely acceptable yet. Sure you can kiss a girl when you’re really drunk or for your boyfriends pleasure, but if you do it for yourself you might as well but a brown paper bag and wear it as a mask, because words really do sting, and hell, looks can kill.

What about your weight? This I’m not entirely sure about. I read somewhere that real woman have curves, so I hope you don’t have a really fast metabolism, or do they have reverse liposuction? But I’ve also heard that you have to be the actual size of a twig in order to catch the gaze of potential love interests. In that case you should check out Anorexia 101 at your local library. But once again this is still up in the air. I suggest you take advice from Sir Mix A lot. He says if you are 5’3 your measurements should equal 36 -24-36, just adjust for your proportions.

Never express any interest in being independent either, because, god forbid, they’ll call you a feminist! But hey, maybe you want to be a feminist, (feminists do have better sex!) in this case don’t shave your legs and burn your bras, otherwise your just succumbing to the male masses. (I’m a feminist who enjoys shaving, but someone told me a while ago this could not be, he might enjoy itchy pubic hair but I do not, and he shaved his face!)

Perfect the whole lady in the street but freak in the sheets act, because this is necessary in today’s world. You have to dip in both sides you see. Show a little skin and play hard to get. Be the sexy librarian! It’s all the rage this season!

Don’t forget to practice your Kegel exercises every night ladies! Loose vaginas are for “sluts”, but if you’re prude then you’re a nuisance!

To keep going with the whole sex ordeal here’s some tips. Don’t nag about foreplay; they don’t need it and most guys don’t understand it takes more effort then ins and outs to make a girl orgasm! In fact only 30% of woman can orgasm through penetration alone (sorry boys, she’s been faking.), but don’t waste your time with boring statistics, scream your heart out. No really, most women are aroused by audio more so then visual.

Also when he begs you not to use a condom, don’t. He’s right it does feel better, and nine months later he’ll be right! It’ll be heaven sent to have that baby out of your uterus! Or that Chlamydia cleared up! Totally worth it! (Be smart, if you’re not going to use a condom at least take the damn pill, call your local planned parent hood, I’ll bring you if I have too.)

I suppose though, if you really loved Jesus, you could save yourself for marriage. I mean, our purpose on earth is solely for reproduction (and for our beloved future husbands!) I mean you do want to make your wedding night memorable! You might not orgasm though- only 5% of woman will when loosing their “virginity” for the first time. Besides what’s more memorable then blood stained sheets, inexperience and excruciating pain!(okay, I lied, some of us won’t have it as painful!)

If you’re raped don’t report it. No really means yes, and honey, you asked for it. With your tight, low-rise jeans and your cleavage-bearing top, how could he keep his hands to himself? You wanted it.

Never admit to masturbating, well unless it’s on webcam – then it’s fine. (Did you know and estimated 92% of women masturbate? Hmm someone’s lying!) Also when he asks you if you’re fingering yourself while you think of his huge cock, lie, say yes, moan, whatever. Don’t let him know, you are just playing the Sims or painting your nails. (This is something I’m unsure of actually, I’ve never met a female who enjoys being fingered, so maybe this is just biased.)

Most importantly watch sitcoms. Whether it be “Everybody Loves Raymond”, “George Lopez” or “Roseanne. Take notes on the wives., always nagging, menstrual, “bitchy” whatever, work it into your own routine, it’ll get you far, promise.

Gender binaries are lethal and ignorant. Women are supposed to be submissive, dependent, straight and emotional. We are supposed to be the inferior sex, bending over backwards for out superiors. If anyone deviates from it they are considered sluts, bitchy, cunts, etc, etc, creating double standards we’ve learned to accept and live by. It seems silly to me, how about you?

Saturday, 04 July 2009

Pan-Sexuality

It isn't something I chose or even wanted, but one day it hit me like a ton of breaks.
Even at a young age I was sure I wasn't heterosexual, even my barbies were dabbling in homosexual relationships. Where everything lead from that both confused me and embarrassed me. When friends would ask me I would brush it of with a laugh and a "of course not" and pretend as if homosexuality was the enemy.
It never was though and I'm not sure why I acted as if it was. I come from a very pro-gay family. My childhood Friday and Saturday nights consisted of my moms LBGT friends dancing and joking around in my living room. One of them even temporarily stepped in and took the role as my father. I never second gussed their choices. I thought being gay was as "normal" as being gay.
When my age reached the double digits I saw that homosexuality was'nt as pronounced in the mainstream society known as middle school compared to my house. That's when I began to repress my feelings and put on a mask. That's when I acted as if homosexuality was an enemy and I was just another hetro- sexual female.
During the past 4 years I've grown and changed as a person. My likes, my dislikes, it's all been molded, it all changed. I've learned to live for myself and be myself, and I've grown comfortable in my own skin. But the one thing that still rang in the back of my head was my sexuality, so off I went to discover myself.
I don't think anyone who always knew there sexuality could relate to the difficulty of not knowing. It's frustrating. You want everything to make sense and for that to lead to that, and for it to be straight up, but sometimes things don't happen that way. You have to guess and learn the hard way. Was it Miss. Scarlett in the library with a wrench or was it Colonel mustard in the kitchen with the rope? You never know what's in the envelope, you just have to figure it all out and make sense before your next turn.
For some reason I hated to define myself as bi-sexual, it just felt utterly wrong, and I didn't know for the life of me to why. Bi-sexual means you are attracted to males and females, and for some reason that didn't make sense to me. Those characteristics weren't what I looked for in a person. I wasn't sexually attracted to somebody because of something they couldn't determine, something as petty as gender.
So I kept my mouth shut for years and last year it hit me. I was reading about sexuality's on line and I pin-pointed the reason I couldn't call myself a bi-sexual. Well, duh Krystal, it's because you aren't one.
I'm a pan-sexual, I accept people for who they are, and when I fall, it's not for their genitals, or their outside appearance, oh no, it's much purer then that. What I'm attracted too is a persons brain and heart, the human existence at it's finest.
Pan-sexuality is defined as having capability to be attracted to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. It just clicked so well, and made so much sense to me, it fit my personality and outlook in every way.
The second I learned what it meant, I came out. I was ecstatic and felt so comfortable with what pan-sexuality meant, to some it might be just a word, but it's like the feeling you'd get from being a regular at some diner where everyone knows your name. For the first time I felt completely comfortable with my sexuality, and satisfied that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did.
It's hard to come into a world and not know anything, not even yourself. It leaves a lifetime journey of discovering every inch of your mind, and learning things you never knew. Every time you do it's as if you're reborn, or like you found that missing puzzle piece. It's a long hard process, but it's worth every second.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Why Pr0n Really Doesn't Suck: A Woman's Perspective

This is in reply to " "Why Pron Sucks:A Woman's Perspective"

I'm not easy - but i've been with quite a few guys (and have talked to others) and I've come to the conclusion that porn doesn't exactly give them "false hope and exceptions".. I mean guys see woman walking around every day.. do they think we hide around these "32ffff's with nipples the size of texas"? I think not! In fact I know very few men who are actually turned on by anything that big.. Let's get real.

Maybe I'll give y ou this one.. we don't moan dramaticially ALL the time, and I'll admit to exagerating once or twice.. but it's not just for the men! Moaning turns me on! It helps me get into it more! We also want to be treated like people - not objects, but you have to remember ladies you have to tell him to slow it down, he isn't you, he doesn't know how it feels, or that it hurts.. and by the way it can go vice versa! I know quite a few females who treat men as objects (or other woman!) and I don't really feel it has much to do with Porn.

Okay.. this is a myth.. not all the guys are totally hideous.. (Coed Sophomores! Mmmm!) In fact the only time I've seen hideous guys is usually in amateur or.. bad porn. Also the woman aren't all so attractive either! Plus it makes porn more realistic. I mean men all can't be Jude Law.

Whether or not it's cheating is something to determined by the individuals in the actual relationship... Its in the "eye of the beholder" I mean if I had to take care of all my boyfriends needs all the time... ughh, thank god for porn!

It doesn't make me feel self concious or lacking.. firstly how many men actually say " but hun this is how they do it in dirty movies" and since when do men add up to the male porn stars? Let's get practical here! Another thing I want to mention is that not all the woman in porn are 5'9, 34 D's and 130. Woman in porn range from anywhere. 34 A's to 32 FFFF'S.

I don't like porn because I want to be a "cool" chick. Please, I've been watching porn since 3rd grade. Porn turns me on! It helps get me off. I have needs, sexual needs and it makes it easier. I never told anyone until last year because I was embarrassed! I also know quite a few females who watch porn and keep it on the down low.. wait.. I've never met a girl who actually admitted to watching porn in front of guys.

I guess all I should say is watch a variety of porn, there is all different types. Some that is more realistic and some that is pure fantasy (hello Super Ninja babes!). All I have to say is cd867, you need to sit down and get educated before you try and tell the world(or Xanga) what porn really is all about!

Saturday, 14 February 2009

We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manif
As a survivor of child abuse and sexual violence I've come to deal with things in any way possible, and throughout the years I've had two coping methods that I ritually practiced, and have gotten me by.
- Suppress- It can't hurt you if you don't knowledge it. Write it out of your mind, don't give it a second thought. i.e being molested. I put it in the back of my head, and ignored it. When it came up the once in a while, I'd say brain, put this back - WE ARE NOT DEALING WITH THIS RIGHT NOW. Outcome? 11 years later, bipolar and heavily medicated, all could have been avoided if I had talked about it and gotten help earlier. While temporarily protecting me it was nothing but a bandaid to a cut that needed stitches. I didn't give myself a chance to work through it. "A lot of times you shut off your whole heart off from your experience -- you close the door, and you wither and die"
- Overcome- The brain is powerful but easily tricked. Tell your self how YOU WANT to feel about the situation, acknowledge it, but don't let it bother you. i.e. I had broken up with this boy who I truly loved more then anything and even though the relationship was poisonous I couldn't imagine it ending. What'd I do? I told myself it didn't phase me. When I thought of our breakup I forced myself to recall allof the reasons why we were both better off, and how I should be happy, and all the good things that came out of it. Needless to say after the first day of our breakup, I NEVER CRIED AGAIN. Outcome? I'm alive, I'm happy, and in love. I tricked my brain into believing I was okay even though I should have wanted to break down and cry. I recently read a quote from a book "Looking for Alaska" It describes this particular coping method more then I could ever: "Those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructable as we believe ourselves to be. ... We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. "
What about you? How do you deal?

Monday, 26 January 2009

Feminism

All I see on Xanga lately is negativity towards feminism., and a good percentage of these writers are woman, ignorant woman! Woman who claim feminism is all about being the same as men(YIKES!) or those who argue feminism is bitchy woman making a scene about nonsense, and the lovely bunch who are against feminism because gender roles are... heaven sent?
Eeekkk, my feminist loving and christian god hating self just cringes at the sight. Have these woman read anything but the bible throughout their lives, Have they even picked up a book to see what feminism is even about? I think not.
We've all heard it, " Feminism is the radical notion that woman are human." and guess what? That is the purest definition of feminism you will ever read. We, as feminists, believe in equality, not being the same as me, that's almost impossible and silly! (By the way men can be feminists too, I'm even dating one!)
Honestly I'm a big fan of these curves and am in LOVE with my vagina. I can push a child right through my birth canal, and I also bleed 7 days in a month, give or take. Being a woman is absolutely beautiful, no way in hell would I prefer to be a male(sorry guys!).
I just want equality and respect. I want an end to the double standard(and i'm not talking JUST about promiscuous sex here), I'm tired of being underpaid when it comes to working the same jobs as men. I want to be able to masturbate and for it not to be because it turns on a guy. I want to be able to get married, without having to go through miles of work to keep my last name, or even for my partner to take on my last name. I want the sexist jokes to stop and that when I go into the city people don't double check to see if I have a male escort. I'm tired of being raped and abused and I know that men can be too, but facts show a great percentage are woman.

SMASH SEXISM, SUPPORT EQUALITY XOXOXO